ElfNinosMom Announces Presidential Platform

The following is my platform for the presidency. Bear in mind that, like all good politicians and all women, I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.


Remove all US troops from Iraq. Enact strict non-intervention foreign affairs policy.

Remove tax exemption from "Church" of Scientology, and stop tax breaks for its members.

Prove Darwin right. Legalize all drugs for use by people over 21, since they're going to use them anyway if that's what they want to do, with the caveat that drugs must be ingested on private property so as not to infringe upon the rights of others to be free of drugs. Provide needle replacement program for IV drug abusers, paid for from the proceeds of drug sales, to help stop the spread of HIV among the non-drug-using population.

Stiffen penalties for providing drugs to, or using drugs in the presence of, anyone under age 21.

Start realistic anti-drug campaign for teenagers, funded by revenue generated from drug sales, with emphasis on rock stars dead from drug abuse. No teenager is going to listen to the President's spouse telling them to "Just Say No", and it's idiotic to think otherwise. However, it will scare the living hell out of them if they see the stark reality - rather than the MTV version - of what drugs did to their heroes.

Lower legal drinking age to 18. If you're old enough to die defending this country, you're old enough to drink.

Heighten penalties for financial fraud. Too many of these scammers are getting away with their crimes, and they usually target the most vulnerable. This must stop.

Enact and enforce laws requiring Congress and the President to provide a balanced budget and erase National Debt.

End governmental support of the Arts outside the academic arena. Art will find a way to support itself, if necessary, through other means.

Require pharmaceutical companies to provide lifesaving drugs free of charge to underprivileged population.

Enact national program to increase health care access for the poor, and pay for it with proceeds from drug sales. Agree to pay for medical school expenses, along with a yearly stipend, for any doctor who agrees to serve the underprivileged population for five years after becoming licensed. To encourage our best and brightest to participate give those doctors first priority in government bidding and hiring, not unlike we already do with veterans entering federal civil service, upon successful completion of the five-year program.

Reinstate full VA medical benefits for honorably-discharged veterans. Our veterans put their lives on the line to protect us, and the very least we can do is care for them when they are ill. Increase monthly payments to disabled veterans, since those payments have not come close to keeping up with inflation.

Require all children to attend school until age 18 or graduation, whichever occurs first. Increase pay for teachers, as well as minimum competency requirements. Pay teachers in complicated subjects - higher math, advanced science - more than other teachers. Require competency exam for parents who wish to homeschool their children.

Require standardized examination on all core subjects prior to high school graduation. No one should ever graduate high school without being able to read for comprehension and balance a checkbook. Stop the use of calculators in math class, unless it is strictly to instruct on how to use a given calculator. Do not allow teachers to show their students popular movies as a substitute for teaching. Require that teachers instruct students on real-life subjects, such as how credit works, to help stop the increasing number of bankruptcies and other financial failure.

Encourage student scholarships to private and/or religious schools, to be funded by the private sector.

Stop social security welfare. Tighten restrictions on those who collect disability payments to those who literally cannot work. Accordingly, stop disability payments for all but the most severe mental illnesses, and stop it altogether for alcohol and drug abuse. Enact a temporary bridge-the-gap program to train those currently on disability who could work. On the other hand, make it easier for those with severe life-threatening illnesses, such as Parkinson's Disease and terminal cancer, to receive social security benefits more quickly.

Require all judicial positions to be filled by popular vote, rather than political appointment.

Return to paper ballot system in elections to help prevent fraud.

Provide strict criminal penalties for awarding government contracts to political cronies.

Prohibit drug testing in jobs except where it can be shown to be necessary. I don't care if the 7-11 clerk is stoned. I do care if the person flying the plane I'm on is stoned.

Prohibit credit checks as a condition of employment, except where the person has a fiduciary responsibility. A person's credit report is their own, and should not be accessed by anyone except when necessary. Too many good people who ran into financial difficulty are being denied jobs on the basis of (sometimes erroneous) credit reports.

End property taxes. No one should have to pay taxes just to keep something they already own.

Enact a law against eminent domain except when the government can prove the property is needed for a legitimate governmental purpose, and except when the property owner is paid fair market value plus 10% for their trouble.